Анекдоты на английском языке
1. Mrs Robinson was very worried about her weight because she wanted to look good for her holiday at her seaside. On a bus one day she said to the woman sitting next to her: > I must get rid of twenty pounds but I don't know how to do it. That's easy, give it to me and I'll spend it for you.
2. - When you have sold me this car this morning, you have said it was trouble-free. Since then, the brakes have failed and the door has fallen off.
- Well, sir, I did sell you the car but the trouble was free!
3. Sherlock Holmes, the famous detective, called one morning on his assistant, Dr Watson.
- Watson, why are you wearing red underwear today?
- Amazing, Holmes! I must congratulate you on detecting the colour of my underwear. But tell me, how do you do it?
- Elementary, my dear Watson! You've forgotten to put your trousers on.
4. The British are planning to travel to the sun in a rocket next year, said a British scientist. > But, said an American scientist, as you get near the sun the heat will melt the rocket. We are not stupid, said the British scientist. We will travel at night.
5. - You're new, aren't you, boy? What's your name?
- Simon, sir.
- In this school we insist on surnames. What's your surname, boy?
- Darling, sir.
- Er... All right, Simon. Yours is the desk by the window.
6. A cop drives up to lovers lane and sees a car there. So he walks up to the car, and there's a girl in the back seat knitting and a boy in the front seat reading a book.
The cop asks the boy how old he is and what he's doing. The boy answers, "I'm reading a book and I'm 20." Then the cop asks what the girl's doing and how old she is. The boy replies, "She's knitting and she'll be 18 in about five minutes."